1. |
3 Words
04:44
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It starts off in a moment
And emotion spent
A performance where you were wrong
It snowballs into more shit
And the focus shifts on
To staying were already gone
A free fall is in motion
As I hopelessly drift off
Dreading my remorse
The final of the solstice
Still I hold my position
For better but probably worse
Dedicated to the man that I thought I was
Thank you for letting me take control of the course
I know it’s hard to see your destiny squandered
But that’s the thing with trauma
Ain’t no order here
Dishonor appeared and ran this shit for a decade
I’m thinking my debts paid
Lemme get some leeway
A bold Nigga
Self centered
Stripped on audio
Performance oriented
Ill equipped
Switchin up 90s flows
Design half the time
Failed visual
Life in 4k is still digital
Despite this
Minimized attempt to skip the crisis
I might just flip back to my old ways and burn the bridge.
Disorder a kin to keeping it together
Good in any weather
Shell shocked local veteran
So ahead of his time
He was allowed to perfect it
The method
Madness capitalized on my excess
To appear
To know you
(3 words you didn’t mean)
To appear
To know you
(3 words you didn’t mean)
To appear
To know you
(3 words you didn’t mean)
To appear
To know you
(I love you
I hate you
I want you)
And I still can’t find my way back home
(I love you
I hate you
I want you)
I’ve been looking forward but I got to go
(I love you
I hate you
I want you)
And I still can’t find my way back home
(I love you
I hate you
I want you)
Should I let it go
You said this before
I said goodbye
Recognize
My crime
As your reward
Stuck in a shadow
Hallowed out by
What you thought I don’t deserve
Up on a mantle holds the challenge
You show rightly no concern
It’s only gonna hurt on the weekend
That still gives me 5 days to strategize a defense
If you were surprised that just means I haven’t peaked yet
I’m getting better with time
Settle my mind
And then release it
Digitalize form of therapy
LMFT shit
Shoutout to my Mom and Aunt Felicia
Wondering if meeting him be good for my mental health
Completely change my understanding of self
I’ve been equipped to handle most situations
But seeing a man they claim to be my father in the grips of paranoia could trigger some trauma and leave a bigger mark than we started with
It’s all pain
I won’t reciprocate what others did
Devotions
crossed up
Leave us doubled down
Staying toxic
Prevented the healing of the crown
26th iteration of bliss
And I’m still wondering
It burying the weight
Unaddressed would carry it forward
They say the only purpose in life is lighten the load
When there’s more to existence will you please let me know
A bold Nigga
Self centered
Stripped on audio
Performance oriented
Ill equipped
Switchin up 90s flows
Design half the time
Failed visual
Life in 4k is still digital
Despite this
Minimized attempt to skip the crisis
I might just flip back to my old ways and burn the bridge.
Disorder a kin to keeping it together
Good in any weather
Shell shocked local veteran
So ahead of his time
He was allowed to perfect it
The method
Madness capitalized on my excess
To appear
To know you
(3 words you didn’t mean)
To appear
To know you
(3 words you didn’t mean)
To appear
To know you
(3 words you didn’t mean)
To appear
To know you
(I love you
I hate you
I want you)
And I still can’t find my way back home
(I love you
I hate you
I want you)
I’ve been looking forward but I got to go
(I love you
I hate you
I want you)
And I still can’t find my way back home
(I love you
I hate you
I want you)
Should I let it go
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2. |
Distant Lover
04:22
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Passionate, Passionless Passionless Passion
Past assistance couldn’t set this right
Tragic split intense new relationship
You gone be the one to say I ended it
I believed you took it all for granted
Now we’re strangers
Blaming each other
For the ways we interpreted our anger
We Fucked Up
Danger
Chasing A connection
Dreaming of a life with a sense direction
Fly around the world so you think you’re rounded
Lying to yourself when you know I was counting
On someone to have my back through that encounter
Instead you turned it all around to assert power
How could I fall for this again
Watching it close to an end
How could I fall for this again
I blamed myself
Ain’t need your help
At distance
Distant Lover (Distant Lover)
Distant Lover (Distant Lover)
Distant Lover (Distant Lover)
Distant Lover (Distant Lover)
Distant Lover
Distant Lover
Distant Lover
Distant Lover
Stay in the same old routine
Will I, stay in the same old routine
Or will I, break free of the energy stocked up
Contorting my mind till I finally get locked up
Product of my environment that’s a shot at
Everything that you thought I would be at this age and time
I’ve been clear headed
Loaded up with the sedatives
Store it formulated
Present it and watch it all down
With the Hennessy flowing
I’m trying to regain and reshow it
Another effect at this broken man's attempt at exploring
Who I am
What I’ve seen
What I’ve done
What I might’ve
If I shoot kill steal fuck up what I’m fighting
All these inhibitions that secretly keep on winning
All these situations that twist him up into submission
And fall down to another level
That I’ve seen before
Fall down to another level
Where I still won’t change
How could I fall for this, How could I fall for this
How could I fall for this, How could I fall
Distant Lover
(How could I fall for this again)
Distant Lover
(How could I forget)
Distant Lover
(How could i fall for this again)
Distant Lover
(How could I forget)
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3. |
Imposter Syndrome
05:55
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I’m staring straight into the sun
The spirit of one
This spirit is draining all the water from my blood
Dehydrated as fuck
So I turn to dust
While paint crust coats every single thing that I touch
I started spiraling
When the exit seemed
As easy as clinging to the wing of a c17
Draped in glory
I threw my hands up
Guess I had had enough
Ain’t no way that I’m going back to the way it was
I shoulda told ya
This one's for the culture
I’m starting it over
You can sink swim or surf the wave
I ain’t afraid
Seems I always got something to say
And Ima be able to duck the fade
From decade to decade
Conflict to conclave
Universally admired for my escapades
They want me in the black box
With the Escalade
Well let me take the top off
Of my masculinity
They sold us
A lie
We bought in
I got out
I walked across
The continental divide
More like California to DC
And nobody would meet with me
Still upset
No threats just desires
To watch this burn down
In a glorious fire
Theater fascist
And all the apprentices
I wonder how much longer
Before it collapses
They beg for borders
And now they hold us
In a constant state of quarantine to quarters
If prophecy’s believed
We’re all dishonored
So suck my dick
And make me feel important
Sage advice
Mobilize
And keep the pressure on em
To survive
In an existence you never wanted
But one you made your own and
One you want control of
Don’t you wanna fuck the world up?
(I know I do)
I know I do, I know I do, I know I do, I know I do
You know I do
I know I do, I know I do, I know I do, I know I do
You know I do
I know I do, I know I do, I know I do, I know I do
Watching life in playbacks gonna be funny
Will I root for anybody but me
Will I disassociate and study
Probably how we end up really living
Watching all of this unwind
Giving new meaning to point and Time
Is it fleeting or infinite design
Will I grieve or breath through newborn eyes
I’ve questioned
I’ve lied
I’ve tempted
Denied the affection
Applied in discretion
Turned violent aggressive
Connected through a few insurrection
Still I don’t know peace
Is it because that’s not what I seek
Still I don’t know peace
Is it because I’m so fucking weak
It must be
Must be me
It must be
Must be me
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
You said it before
I’m ready to go
I’m willing to move forward
Forward, Forward, Forward, Forward, Forward, Forward
4
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4. |
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Casting his ties to the shore
He sets off in uncharted waters
These recurrent ides
These recurrent ides
These recurrent ides
These recurrent ides
Will he return
Or find a place of his own
These recurrent ides
These recurrent ides
These recurrent ides
These recurrent ides
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Do you know me
Do you get uncomfortable
When I'm brought up in conversations
Having a hard time explaining
My absence and my motivation
For life liberty and progress on the situation
Based in
My disinterest
For how you view me and my pigment
I really could be that nigga
I really went that distance
Don't need to get specific
Won't even flex my business
Just say I'm codependent
And a little bit excessive
Drinking
Way to much on the weekends
Yet I wrote this on a tuesday
And I'm still drunk
I miss the days when we would zoom
And get fucked up
Now I'm running out of reasons
For me spiraling this month
Was it
How we left everything out east
Or the fact that I lost ya to this fucking disease
There's at least three screens in front of me at all times
And it's blinding me to everything I'm trying to deny
Like is this just another vain obsession
Artistry I question
Even though I'm good at it
Ocalypse is just the current state of your depression
Put that effort into something else
And you'll be good at it
Funny how this thinking got me doubting my mind
Myself
My life
My presence divine
And still I rise
Opportunities
Will come and go and you'll find
That this will all work out
Earth will provide
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
They say i've been hiding on the westside with it
Climbing to the top
Uh-huh aye yes I did it
People always change up
Always hate, why
Cause they see us count up past the daylight
Hola
Hey
Hello
Watch me moonwalk on the ceilos
I used to live in the ghetto
Now a girl live and do better
Heart grow cold on these late night trips
I don't think you know who the eff I is
On my soul
Do this for my kid
Prayers towards the east
God watch my six
Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah
Cause I been hiding on the westside with it
Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm doing me for good, so why you tripping
Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah
Cause i've been hiding on the westside
Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm doing me for good, so why you tripping
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
Hello
Hello goodbye
Lemme tell ya
Another time
Exactly where
I've been hiding
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5. |
XYZ (interlude)
01:41
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6. |
Fallback
03:44
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Hello elllo lol oh once again
This time I'm claiming innocence
The silence is inhibited
Giving into all of my vices as attributed
This constant
That's haunting
Keeps evolving
If I bring it to light you're gonna reward me
Elevated
In a state of chemical warfare
We've been here before
And it's time to venture on
And on and on
The same mistakes
Were never what went wrong
Said I'm guilty
I'm guilty
I'm guilty
I'm guilty
I'm guilty
Of following up
When you'll see
When you'll see
When you'll see
It's never enough
For the ones who judge
Hey
What do you call that
This a fall back
Hey
What do you call that
This a fall back
Hey
What do you call that
This a fall back
This a
This a fall back
This a
Fall back
So what's the use
This new excuse
Is not a battle cry
Proving you were just as brutal
As the other side
Keeping it in line
Where's the true innovation
You stand accused of crimes
Yet unwilling to face them
Chase these cold hard facts with proof
Address the damage at the root
I hope that you
Could float the truth
And dance through your distractions
Standard practice way to long
Withstood advances
Made you strong
Who's taken chances
Praise to yours
Invoked attachments tied to charm
I recklessly fought hand and knee
Was temporarily relieved
It's still my duty while I breath
Don't persecute me for my failure to believe
This starts here
This starts right here
This stops here
This stops right here
This stops right here
I never knew what I wanted of love
I never knew what I wanted from us
I never knew what I wanted of love
I never knew what I wanted of us
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7. |
Liven Up
04:50
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Light me up
Until I fade away
Giving up my pride
For just one more night
How's it taste
Are you satisfied
Whether worth it or
Worsened
You've furthered
The verdict
Dangle life in front of me and say fight
Like this the only reason that I'm alive
Entertainment
Content labeled escapism
With a glimpse of me claiming you were right
Safe in a rotating wave of stress
Half baked so I cling to no defense
Latch keyed to my reckoning
I wore it on my sleeve
To symbolize the weight and anxiety
In sobriety
While we're staring at the brink of collapse of society
I'm fine
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Because it's time to move
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Because it's time to move
Did your luck run out
Did you win that fight
Did you lose yourself
Did you almost die
Did they weaponize
Your safety
Trying to break the chains
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Because it's time to move
Scared to live
Scared to die
Scared to try
Terrified of how it's set up for the right
Normalize doubt in the victims eyes
Organized only when it's televised or on live
Fortified truth and agree to some change
Stays the same, falling further as we hurdle to the flame
Barricade birth, and reprieve in the raise
Most of y'all won't understand so you greet it with some hate
Draped in the claims that you made
You put your foot down
Only way to defend me
Attempting to bridge disinterest
Without statistics
Leave A mark on the physical plane of existence
Dog ma only outlook is reform
To play the part your born with is deform
I'm swarmed in normalcy
Still tread with ease
Inform the siege
They gone have to prepare for war
Not everything has be profound
But anything could inspire change and power
Can't make waves when you're hiding all day
So you dare to integrate
Take a break from the insanity
If I'm repeating let me
Correct the road to my freedom
I've been assured beyond reason
This is the way my goals meet achievement
Meet achievement
Meet achievement
Y'all know what I really mean
So
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Because it's time to move
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Because it's time to move
Did your luck run out
Did you win that fight
Did you lose yourself
Did you almost die
Did they weaponize
Your safety
Trying to break the chains
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Because it's time to move
I know that people lied to you
I saw it for myself
I more inclined to see this through
Since no one's here to help
When will we finally value truth
Instead of what they sell
Why y'all so comfortable
Existing in this fucking hell
If it's so easy
Than why have I
Not been
Immortalized
I'm still receiving grace from a god
I'll never satisfy
Compliance in your own arrival
All these riots are forms of survival
Well alright just
Place this
Back on me
It's alright
This ain't the first time that you'll leave
And surprise surprise
It's not a mystery
You know what you did to me
You know what you're dead to me
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Because it's time to move
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Because it's time to move
Did your luck run out
Did you win that fight
Did you lose yourself
Did you almost die
Did they weaponize
Your safety
Trying to break the chains
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Liven up
Because it's time to move
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8. |
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9. |
No Change For The Better
06:01
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Who are you
And can I learn to trust
Let's spend a few months
Laughing and arguing
Then pretend that we're not in love
You don't wanna be the executioner
No
You don't wanna be the next excuse I wear
No
I'm afraid we're already there
No change for the better
I think I'm losing my grip
No change for the better
I think I'm losing my grip
You said you wouldn't leave
But I guess I had to cut you off
I was lost
I was trapped in my own thoughts
Am I deserving of peace
Honest I plead
I can lay all of this
Right at your feet
But I am only my release
Talented waiting on flashes to pose
Heartbreak distracted us
Fractured the code
Tried to erase you like that was the goal
I'm losing hope
Here
You could just say fine
And I could just play my role
And deny it
Taking our sweet time
I'll see you at the crossroad
No change for the better
I think I'm losing my grip
No change for the better
I think I'm losing my grip
Save me
Will somebody save me
We're through the hurt
Save me
Will somebody save me
We're through the hurt
Save me
Will somebody save me
We're through the hurt
Save me
Will somebody save me
We're through the hurt
You don't need to be saved
Salvation comes from within
Find it
And you are home
I think I'm losing my grip
Placed
Out of reach
Perfectly shrined
Sense of release
Open your eyes
Drift to me
Tell me I'm home
When all of this
Keels over
Will I haunt you, will I hover
State my truth
Or commit no further
Names
Dates
Memories in bloom
Faces
Ages
When you do it too
When you do it too
When you do it too
When you break the news
I'll be
In view
Right beside
You
Everything will be just fine
Everything will be alright
|
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10. |
All You' Ever Knew
05:21
|
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I've been wasting away
Trying to finalize
Packaged all my mistakes
And put 'em into view
How I hate that there's space
Now between us
Hoping you could feel safe
Like this is all you knew
We're watching the world end
While we build a bond
Funny how in the midst of this
It's all I want
Spending my time with you
No regrets
I accept
This is all I ever knew
And even though we might deny
It doesn't change the countless nights
You were always on my mind
I admit
Let's commit
Like this all we ever knew
To appear to no
To appear to know you
Why don't we cross that line
When I look in your eyes
I only see a better side
Reflections of what I can't hide
Still you accept me
When I get down you lift me up
Acting a clown to show you love
Watching you grow has been so beautiful
But I
Know I should take my time with this
But I
Can't seem to give that shit a rest
Hopeless romantic
Who's got
Baggage and damaged response
Part of the process
I know
We're both willing to evolve
You say you're free
You make the same mistakes
And even though it hurts you
You keep on playing those games
Remove the disillusion
This repeating theme
The novelty's worn off
A habit unresolved
I'm waiting to be wrong
I'm loyal to a fault
But what if I'm wrong
To appear to no
To appear to no
To appear to no you
Three words that you didn't mean
Three words that you didn't mean
Three words that you didn't mean
Three words that you did to me
Three words that you didn't mean
Three words that you did to me
Three words that you didn't mean
Three words that you did to me
Three words that you said to me
Three words you'd forever mean
That you said to me
That you said to me
That you said to me
That you said to me
Three words that you didn't mean
Again
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